10 Days of Xmas

12/26

On the 10th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … . a pear-stuffed partridge. Probably ordered it from Amazon. I just hope he plans to cook the damn thing himself.

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12/25

On the 9th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … BullRyder body balm, perhaps for soothing relief following those long rides on my new inflatable horse?

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12/24

On the 8th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … yet another sweater, woven by my true love himself from cat hair scraped off our bed. While I applaud the effort, I’m afraid it, too, will be torched.

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12/23

On the 7th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … a pair of odor-killing “Febreeze” socks. Which I will promptly re-gift back to someone who really needs them — namely, my true love.

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12/22

On the 6th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … a lint catcher, complete with lint that I will finger-knit into a festive holiday nose muff for him.

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12/21

On the 5th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me: A certificate for … this. Gee, thanks hon! You’re not the only one who thinks bigger is better. Wait till you see the “enhancement” consultation I bought for you.

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12/20

On the 4th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … a life-sized inflatable horse. Purpose: unknown.

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12/19

On the third day of Xmas my true love gave to me … a needle felting kit. Now, could someone please tell me what the hell “needle felting” is? And if I indeed learn to “felt needles,” what I’m supposed to do with the resulting “needled felt”?

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12/18

On the 2nd day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … … this sweater. Which I’m about to incinerate in the fireplace.

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12/17

On the 1st day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … nail clippers. Cheapskate. Wait till he sees the hard boiled egg I’ve got for him.

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2 thoughts on “10 Days of Xmas

  1. Let me know if you need an address to send the socks and please remember that where I now live, no socks required.

    Good luck with this blog – I will stay tuned.

    Like

    1. I said “sock”, not “socks”. I have a Nike sock I fished out of the dryer the other day that’s lost its mate – will that do?

      Like

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