12/26
On the 10th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … . a pear-stuffed partridge. Probably ordered it from Amazon. I just hope he plans to cook the damn thing himself.
12/25
On the 9th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … BullRyder body balm, perhaps for soothing relief following those long rides on my new inflatable horse?
12/24
On the 8th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … yet another sweater, woven by my true love himself from cat hair scraped off our bed. While I applaud the effort, I’m afraid it, too, will be torched.
12/23
On the 7th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … a pair of odor-killing “Febreeze” socks. Which I will promptly re-gift back to someone who really needs them — namely, my true love.
12/22
On the 6th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … a lint catcher, complete with lint that I will finger-knit into a festive holiday nose muff for him.
12/21
On the 5th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me: A certificate for … this. Gee, thanks hon! You’re not the only one who thinks bigger is better. Wait till you see the “enhancement” consultation I bought for you.
12/20
On the 4th day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … a life-sized inflatable horse. Purpose: unknown.
12/19
On the third day of Xmas my true love gave to me … a needle felting kit. Now, could someone please tell me what the hell “needle felting” is? And if I indeed learn to “felt needles,” what I’m supposed to do with the resulting “needled felt”?
12/18
On the 2nd day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … … this sweater. Which I’m about to incinerate in the fireplace.
12/17
On the 1st day of Xmas, my true love gave to me … nail clippers. Cheapskate. Wait till he sees the hard boiled egg I’ve got for him.
Writing. Wandering. Wondering. 
Let me know if you need an address to send the socks and please remember that where I now live, no socks required.
Good luck with this blog – I will stay tuned.
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I said “sock”, not “socks”. I have a Nike sock I fished out of the dryer the other day that’s lost its mate – will that do?
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